Can my experience affect other people's lives negatively?

[vera]

Yesterday I found out that a person who is very close to me (but who now lives in another country) had a very serious accident from which she's got almost zero chances to recover, or so the doctors reckon. I know she is 96 next month and sooner or later something of that kind would have happened but I can't help blaming myself for it and relating it to my kundalini experience. The thought that I might have indirectly caused it by diving into this deep spiritual experiences is soul-destroying.

What's even worse, my i-ching consultations - or the way I interpret them - seem to confirm I have something to do with it. Even a few days before my kundalini awakening I inquired about my spiritual quest and the answer was that something very dangerous was about to occur, that I was going to make a terrible mistake with disastrous consequences ("catastrophic blunder"). Today after I found out about the accident I consulted the i-ching again and here is the interpretation I've been given:

"One person has an advantage from what is a loss to another. This is really unpleasant for the latter."

"Feeling really distressed. It is better not to try to make the feeling go away, as you would be rejecting yourself. It's not possible to be happy when you reject yourself. Let nature take its course."

"Separating from something. It is good to persevere with that, this is progress. It's a good idea to invest for the future, to be able to handle the loss."

I would like to add that this old lady has always been very close to me and my safety and happiness have always been a priority to her. I also know she's been praying for me for a long time.

I can't help wondering: Is God using her to kill my ego (the i-ching talks about separating from something)? If that's the case, how can I live with the guilt that I've caused her so much pain?

[AnneMcG]

I think you are looking at this the wrong way. Sounds like she lived a long and happy life. K is not a guilt religion, or a religion for that matter. We are not in control of other people's destiny. Many beings can connect with the spirits of living, and those who have passed on. You may have sensed that your friend was going to move on, and your spirit was there to support her. As far as causing suffering and pain, her death does not sound like a bad way to go to me. When my mom was dying, it was a long painful experience. All 3 children were there. My mom had always told me she wanted drugs. Morphine was sitting right there by her bedside. My brother, however, was more of the she will leave when she is ready philosophy. In desperation, I called an old friend who had been through a similar experience with her mom, who also had Alzheimer's. Her advise "your mom will only be around for a few more days after a wonderful life. You are stuck with your brother for a lifetime." The only choices we can make are those in the present. The same goes for everyone else. On a positive note, I do hear from my dead friends and relatives when I need them most. Especially right after they die. Your friend may come to you in dreams or other ways when you need her most. Sorry for your loss, and may you find peace and forgiveness in your journey. It is not what happens in life, but how we react in the present. There will always be pain and suffering. Guidance is there every second of the way if you care to see it in everyday life.

[vera]

Anne, thanks for your reply. I think I haven't made myself clear. She hasn't died and there is no indication that she is going to die any time soon. When I say she won't recover, I mean she will never be able to walk, stand or even sit up again. She will be bed-bound and in pain until she dies, and that could take months or even years. I know my feelings of guilt sound ridiculous in this situation but I can't help making these connections in my mind.

[Artemis]

one of the things we have to learn on earth.... is to permit other persons to have there own experience in life...  if this old lady have chose to have a accident.... the accident will happend... the choise is not in the everydayme..... but in the soul....
if she had made another choise... something else whould have happend... but... its not your fault .... its not upon you to take the guilt for it... your kundalini cant overpower her soul .... there is no blame in any direction... she has just used her free will to experience something...

this is the way I see and experience the life....

[christop.reid]

I agree with what everyone else has said.. you can't be in anyway responsible for your friends accident. 
As you give this I ching reading so much significance, I must say, it is clear to me you are interpreting what it says all wrong...

It's warning you about a loss which will cause you to commit a "catastrophic blunder"... this is the "guilt" which you are now feeling for something totally beyond your control (your friends accident).  This 'guilt' you now feel is the danger it talks about.. and that you must move on.."separate from something" (guilt for your friends accident).

Vera..you say, "Is god using her to kill my ego"... this is very dangerous and destructive thinking and you are being warned about such false notions. Read the text again, with detachment.. and it will become clear.  You are interpreting it from a negative, false guilt ridden prospective.

I would not advise doing I ching self readings when in a negative frame of mind.. it is to easily misinterpreted. Whatever it says.

Hope this helps.... Chris

[Gar]

Good Day

I too agree with others here. Please stop punishing yourself. I personally believe that "GOD" doesn't do these things

"I can't help wondering: Is God using her to kill my ego (the i-ching talks about separating from something)? If that's the case, how can I live with the guilt that I've caused her so much pain?"

Chris make good points about the I ching. Always readings can be interpreted in many ways from many views. Allow for that. Let go your guilt and embrace your love and compassion, guilt will hold you in that place, love and compassion together with forgivness, for self as well as others, will help to free you.

Take Care

[vera]

Thank you all for your replies. What you say makes so much sense. I realize my worst enemies on this journey are fear and guilt. Chris, Gar, I think you are very right about the i-Ching. It's dangerous to consult it in a negative frame of mind. Somehow my moods and emotions seem to influence the results. When I'm scared, I get negative readings that scare me even more. This also happened when I used to open the Bible randomly many years before learning about the i-Ching. I seem to have this compulsion to resort to such practices when I'm in trouble, which always seems to make things worse. You put it down to interpretation. But there is a negative thing there in the first place ('catastrophic blunder'). Could this be due to the law of attraction (negative emotions attracting bad results)?

[Gar]

All these things can be interpreted different ways, regardless of the words used. There is the subjective interpretation, the objective interpretation, the future interpretation, the past interpretation, and countless other examples. Your current perspective greatly influences your interpretation. Even 'catastrophe' can be interpreted in different ways. It our humanity that automatically assigned positive or negative conotations. That which may seem like catastrophe now may in time be viewed as blessing later.
The message is neutral in nature, it is us whom assign a positive or negative value to them, and keep in mind that the message value can change. Especially when your point of view and perspective changes. Sometimes we look too closely to the words and loose the bigger meaning, and at times the reverse it true.
We search out guidance in times of stress and vulnerability, there is no fault here.  Perhaps what is needed is some quiet time. Receive your message and do not dwell. Long term dwelling on these messages will only serve to create a prison of your own making.

Please be careful here. These self made prisons can be hard to find the key of release.

Take care

[Bob Boyd]

I can't help blaming myself for it and relating it to my kundalini experience. The thought that I might have indirectly caused it by diving into this deep spiritual experiences is soul-destroying.

What's even worse, my i-ching consultations - or the way I interpret them - seem to confirm I have something to do with it. Even a few days before my kundalini awakening I inquired about my spiritual quest and the answer was that something very dangerous was about to occur, that I was going to make a terrible mistake with disastrous consequences ("catastrophic blunder"). Today after I found out about the accident I consulted the i-ching again and here is the interpretation I've been given:

Your process will harm no one. It's a benevolent mother power, not a hoo doo black magic hex.  You're mistaking a blessing for a curse. Try to get that negative thinking out of your head. Counter it with positive affirmations. I've had kundalini flowing in me for 39 years and it never harmed anyone, and never will.

[uki]

In my humble opinion - yes, at least temporary and I don't mean any spiritual stuff but just the earthly living.

I don't know how many of you guys have families or partners. The harm to those we are close with may come 'just' from the mess or because of the change inside us. When I look at myself 5 years ago and now I see a different man. Most of the changes are very subtle plus at least some of them makes me a better partner yet I remember the hard times my wife had with me.

[vera]

Thanks, guys. Your guidance is truly helpful and much appreciated. Indeed, it is so easy to create prisons and get stuck in them, especially at the beginning of this journey. Funny enough, the I-Ching did also say that an experienced person could help me deal with this situation.:)) This forum is truly a blessing.

[AnneMcG]

I too have taken my friend's and children through terrible situations. I am just now seeing that it has been a healing journey for them as well. And one thing you can say for sure, I am never dull.

This thread reminds me of the analogy of going to the grocery store. I you go when you are hungry (or stoned), you will likely buy chips and dip. If you are full, you will carefully pick through the produce.